It took me a few days to remember why I don’t like this time of year. It’s not the grey weather, or the terror of stepping onto the scale and assessing the damage weeks of holiday eating has wrought. It’s not the fact that the stores are already full of Valentines candy, a grim reminder that I’m still single and the only way I’m getting chocolates is if I buy them myself. No, what’s irking me this dark and dreary January day is other people’s resolutions.

Follow up:

At some time in our lives we’ve all done it. Committed to something new and better in the name of self improvement as the New Year rolls around. Between the grumpy folks chomping on nicotine gum while growling at customers and the avalanche of the inept at my local gym, I’d guess this was a bumper year for resolutions. I’m not against self improvement, hell I’m a serious work in progress myself and I’m all for encouraging other’s to join the fun. What I am not in favour of is the mob mentality that kicks in this time every year.

I went to the pool for my usual work out, and much to my dismay the normally tranquil waters were awash with newbies, all floundering and splashing their way around their lanes like panicky water buffalo. Everyone was full of good intentions, and not one of them had a clue how to read the posted signs or work with their co-swimmers. Lane walkers blocked the power swimmers, and side strokers idly paddled back and forth while frenzied fitness freaks tried to get in their timed regimes by weaving around them. It was complete and utter chaos. I am not a fan of crowds nor chaos, but those holiday pounds were not going to get rid of themselves, so into the fray I plunged.

Never before has 45 minutes seemed so long. Every lap brought me face to face with flailing feet, killer kickboards and swimmers who thought that opening their eyes underwater would strike them blind, so instead charged ahead without bothering to watch for obstacles like walls, lane dividers or other hapless swimmers. Add to that the aquafit class next door had swelled in size from a core group of 6 to over 20 newly enthused folks, their collective gyrations creating waves and currents normally only seen while surfing in Hawaii.

My time was done at last, and I battled my way past a flood of newly initiated yoga goers to get to my locker and change. On my way out I looked over at the haggard desk staff, who smiled at me and shook their heads. “Damned resolutions.” I commented as they laughed. “Give it a week or two and they’ll all be gone again.” They told me. And I guess that is at the core of my irritation. If everyone who committed to this “new year, new life” plan stayed the course, then we’d get it settled and soon all would be a well oiled machine again, everyone getting what they needed. But the majority will come, make things difficult for everyone else for a little while, and then vanish once again. They won’t stay long enough to learn the rules and figure out the system, and they’ll give up because it seems too busy or too hard, never realizing they are the cause of their own failure, and a bloody misery to the rest of us.

For anyone out there who started a new regime this New Years. Good for you! But make sure you know what you’re doing, or ask someone who does. The odds are good you’ll enjoy your new lifestyle a great deal more if you're not taking a flipper to the face your first time out.